A letter to my abusive father
Dear Dad,
I have sat down countless times to write this letter, but each time, the words seemed to fail me. The pain and hurt you have caused me have been like a heavy weight on my shoulders, making it difficult to express my feelings. However, I have come to realize that I need to confront these emotions and put them into words. This letter is my attempt to do just that.
Growing up, I never understood why you treated me the way you did. The verbal and emotional abuse you subjected me to was something I thought only happened in movies or books. I remember the nights when I would cry myself to sleep, wondering why you couldn’t see the pain you were causing. I felt like I was living in a constant state of fear and anxiety, never knowing when the next outburst would come.
Your words were like a knife, cutting deep into my soul. You would belittle me, calling me names and making me feel worthless. I was constantly reminded of my failures, while your successes were celebrated. It was as if I was never good enough, no matter how hard I tried. I longed for your approval and affection, but they were always just out of reach.
I have spent years trying to forgive you, but the truth is, I don’t think I ever will. Forgiveness is not something that can be forced or rushed. It is a process that takes time and healing. I have learned to love myself and to seek support from others, but the scars you left behind will always be a part of me.
I want you to know that your actions have had a lasting impact on my life. They have shaped the person I am today, both positively and negatively. I have become resilient and strong, but I have also struggled with trust and self-worth. I hope that one day, you will be able to reflect on your behavior and understand the damage it has caused.
I am not writing this letter to seek your forgiveness or to change your ways. Instead, I am writing it to release my own pain and to move forward with my life. I have learned that healing is a journey, and I am determined to take it one step at a time. I hope that you can find your own path to healing and growth.
Thank you for reading this letter, Dad. I hope that it has given you some insight into the pain you have caused. I will always love you, but I will never forget the hurt you have brought into my life. I am now ready to let go and embrace the future with hope and courage.
